Since I’m Supposed to be a Mind Reader,

Here are answers to a few questions that I KNOW you are on your mind:

I am looking for a clean show --- can you tell me more about your comedy?
We are worried about the ‘mind-reading’ aspect of the show. What if we have a very conservative crowd?
How long is your program? And do you have any thoughts on timing?
What are your stage needs?
We have a very smart crowd. Can you handle them?
But we can get (lower quality entertainment’s name here) for $(their price). Can you do it for the same?
You mentioned a contingency (substitution) agreement. Can you explain more details?
We’d love to see you perform. Will you be doing a show near us soon?


Kevin Questions

Now for a few of the most commonly received questions I get as a performer, along with my stock answers — if you read this, you’ll know that your joke is NOT as original as you think!

Q: “Can you make the bill disappear?”
A: “I can try, but sometimes it doubles!”

Q: “Can you make my [boss, significant other, etc.] disappear?”
A: “No, especially since they are likely paying my bill . . .” (see question number 1)

Q: “Is Criss Angel real?”
A: “You’re a smart person — if he were, would he have a show in Las Vegas, or would he be studied worldwide by the best scientists around — I’ll let you decide.”

Q: “Did you go to Hogwarts?”
A: “If you are asking that, I’m wondering how productive you are in your company . . .”

Q: “Are you allowed in casinos?”
A: “Yes, except for a few . . .”

Q: “I saw you take somebody’s watch earlier. Did you steal my wallet?”
A: “In all honesty, no I did not. It’s too much of a liability. It’s probably in your hotel room accidentally kicked under the bed. You should go check . . .”

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